Differences That Create Beauty: A Lesson from Painting With a Twist
Common+Unity.. How can embracing differences help create a beautiful and more unified relationship?
The Canvas of Marriage
My husband, Jermaine, and I have a regular date night, and recently, we decided to go to Painting With a Twist. If you’ve ever been there, you know that no painting skills are required. By the end of the event, you will have recreated a painting with step-by-step instructions from a “real” artist. The goal is more about connection than artistic skill—but sometimes, I forget that.
This particular night was a Date Night event, where our two paintings would come together to form one—a lot like marriage. We each had a canvas, and while we worked separately, we had to collaborate to make the final masterpiece cohesive. As you can imagine, given our differences, this was interesting!
Different Perspectives, Different Colors
At one point, the instructor told us to mix a new color using the primary colors on our palette. She gave simple instructions:
“Get a big scoop of white, a very small amount of black, and a little red.”
Sounds easy, right? Well, I ended up with a light pink, and my wonderful husband ended up with hot pink. It was funny—and slightly frustrating—all at the same time. How did this happen? We heard the same instructions but had different outcomes because we had different perspectives on words like lot, small, and little.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that our differences, while sometimes challenging, made the experience fun and unique. Yes, we had different interpretations, but that’s what made the process beautiful.
God’s Design for Oneness
This experience reminded me of Genesis 2:21-25:
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.
22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
There’s so much these verses tell us, maybe we can discuss those in another post; today, I want to point out that God could have made man and woman exactly the same, but He didn’t. He designed us to complement each other, not compete with each other. He designed marriage for unity, but unity does not mean sameness. Adam and Eve were different; like our two canvases. God calls us to be one—not by erasing our differences, but by learning to work together despite them. The beauty of marriage isn’t in being identical—it’s in learning to blend our unique colors into one masterpiece.
Embracing the Beauty in Our Differences
That night at Painting With a Twist, Jermaine and I were reminded that:
1. We are different, and that’s okay. Just like our colors turned out differently, our perspectives in life won’t always match—but that doesn’t mean one is right and the other is wrong.
2. Working together takes communication and grace. Just as we had to adjust our painting techniques, marriage requires a willingness to listen, compromise, and appreciate each other’s strengths.
3. Our differences can create something beautiful. By the end of the night, our two unique canvases came together to form a beautiful piece of art. Similarly, when we embrace our differences in marriage, we create a life that is richer and more colorful than we could on our own.
Finding Joy in the Differences
There was a time when differences like these would have really frustrated me. But this night, we laughed (a lot)—so much so that the facilitators asked us to come back because they enjoyed listening to us laugh at our differences.
It was in that moment that I realized something:
Even the things that could be frustrating to us, can also be a blessing to those watching—if we respond the right way. Imagine if our differences had led to fighting instead of laughter. What impact would that have had on the room?
And let me be transparent—I still have some growing to do. At one point, I felt like Jermaine was being too structured with part of his canvas, so I added to it. Instead of getting upset, he just laughed and let me make the change. He loved me where I was, and in doing so, helped me see that I needed to grow, without saying a word.
What allowed me to recognize this moment and make a different choice? My freedom journey. The work I’ve done to heal and grow helped me notice when frustration was rising and gave me the space to choose laughter instead. Without that growth, I might have responded differently, missing the joy in the moment.
That night, our laughter over our differences not only strengthened our connection but also impacted those around us, reminding me that how we handle our differences can either divide us or create something truly beautiful.
Bringing It All Together
Life and marriage aren’t about creating perfect art— they’re about creating meaningful art. The process might get messy. Colors may not always blend the way we expect. But when we step back, we see that God has been painting a masterpiece all along.
Through this experience, I was reminded of three key truths:
1. God Designed Differences for a Purpose – Just like Adam and Eve, we are not meant to be identical, but to complement each other.
2. How We Respond to Differences Matters – Our laughter that night impacted more than just us; it blessed those around us.
3. Growth Comes Through Unity, Not Perfection – Jermaine’s patience helped me recognize an area I need to grow in. True unity isn’t about getting everything right; it’s about choosing grace in the process.
So the next time you and your spouse (or anyone you're in relationship with) see things differently, remember: You’re not meant to be identical. You’re meant to create something beautiful together; you're together for a purpose. Additionally, when you find yourself frustrated by the differences in your relationship, remember: Your differences, when embraced, can create something truly beautiful.
Say this with me: Differences don’t divide us—they create something beautiful!
Ready to transform your relationship?
If you’ve been feeling frustrated by the differences in your marriage, I’d love to walk alongside you on a journey of healing and growth. Embrace the beauty in your differences and learn how to respond with grace and love. Contact me today for a free discovery call to find out how a Heart Healing can help you. Let's start creating a masterpiece together in your relationship.
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